Monday, January 15, 2007

Woe is Me

Remember how I said in the last post that hopefully the next post would be about my new baby? HA! Hahahahahahaha. I am four days from my due date and going a bit crazy. First of all, I am in pain. The hemorrhoid is back. Not Oscar, the kind, gentle hemorrhoid who just kind of hung out and made me feel embarrassed. No, this is Philip, the painful, horrific hemorrhoid who reminds me of his presence every time I so much as shift a buttcheek. You can thank Kirk for naming them. You can also thank him for still thinking it's kind of funny, even though he sees how much pain I'm in. I can't tell you how often I've wished one on him, just for a little while, so he can see what it's like.

You know what else is painful? The baby's movement. It used to be one of the fun things about pregnancy, feeling her move around in there. It was wondrous and delightful! Now? It feels like an alien entity trying to burst from my body. I swear she's just headbutting my bladder for the fun of it. This does not bode well for her future personality.

Other than being in pain, I'm just vastly uncomfortable. Short of breath, heartburn, can't bend over, etc. etc. Add to that the unknown. I'm still working and still scheduling appointments, hoping against hope I'll have to cancel them due to labor. I just don't like not knowing!!

I find myself yearning for things I cannot do. Here is just a short list:

Shave my legs.
Paint my toenails.
Stand up without cringing in pain.
Eat blue cheese.
Sleep through the night.
Be on my feet for more than a half hour.
Wear normal clothes.
Zip up my coats.
Breathe normally.
Go a day (or at least a few hours) without complaining about my physical ailments.

My next doctor's appointment is Wednesday, during which I can look forward to another extremely painful cervix check (YOWZA, these hurt!!) and probably the bad news that I'm not even close to being ready. Uuuurrrggghhhh.


Blogger KellyF said...

You poor thing!! And damn that Philip. What an ass. Get it? :)

Sorry, I just had to say that!

12:12 PM  
Blogger Sizzle said...

it's like you've been pregnant for years! i thought by now you'd be telling us all about the birth.

let's hope all this suffering means an easy birth!

hang in there.

7:37 PM  
Blogger matilda said...

You say you want to sleep thru the night??? Are you hiring a nanny sister? You just lost sleeping thru the night for at least the next 4 years... I do not have kids but being a nanny once upon a time... I was up all the time. Good luck on that.

7:14 PM  
Blogger Isabel said...

I'm sure you've had your baby by now. RIGHT!?

I can't wait to hear all about it!!

10:01 AM  
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